Last year I have attended a wonderful workshop about stories and constellations by Joke Goudswaard. In an earlier blog I have already share a wonderful experience. In this blog I want to share another one.
Following The Tracks Of The Snow Tiger
Joke told the story of “The Snow Tiger’s Tracks”. In this tale a Japanese woman tries to get through to her husband who has been wounded (more psychologically than physically) in the war. Every day she puts on her red kimono and puts down bowls of rice and sweet rice crackers for her husband. He doesn’t look and doesn’t talk. After consulting the village herb lady, she is advised to find the snow tiger. The hair of the snow tiger can safe her husband. So the woman sets off for a journey into the mountains. She has to climb higher and higher to find the snow tiger. The journey is heavy and painful. When she finally finds the snow tiger, it is aggressive and it is very difficult to get close. She has to win the trust of the snow tiger in order to seize the hair. Finally she has found a way to get close and capture a hair. Happy to have found the tiger and the hair she returns to the valley and shows the hair to the herb lady. The lady takes a close look at the hair and concludes that it really is the hair from the snow tiger. She then throws the hair in the fire in which it burns with a crackling sound. It was never about the hair. The herb lady tells the woman to use all that she has learned by finding the hair and apply it in approaching her husband. This way the woman can finally get through to her husband and the connection between the two has been healed.
The Mountain That Has Always Been and Always Will Be
Afterwards we stood in a circle and everyone was asked to enter the story by stepping into the circle representing an element from the story. The wounded soldier, the red kimono, the army, the hair from the white tiger, they all came alive.
At the same time a processes unfolded, a journey through the story in which personal and collective themes were touched and healed.
When I was ready, I entered the constellation as the mountain that has always been there and always will be. The mountain that served as the background of the tale.
This is a familiar position for me. A spectator outside the story which has a special position. The special thing I experienced that unexpectedly the mountain was very connected. It was at the same time the grounding and eternity that served as the background of the story as it was an involved part of the story. I was moved as the mountain, I felt empathy and was influenced by the moving and adding of elements. At the same time I could connect with the fact that this story was just a small drop in the vast ocean of eternity. There had been pain, loss, hope and love before and there would be pain, loss, hope and love again.
This experienced taught me the following lessons.
There Is Always a Background That Serves Your Story
Sometimes I feel lonely in that what I am doing. Especially when things get difficult, when I have doubts and when my fears become too strong, I get the idea that I am alone in this. Of course I have friends, colleagues and a fantastic wife. Still it feels lonely sometimes. I know this theme and where it comes from and I have worked on it. It is not that strong anymore, but it is there.
By experiencing the energy of the mountain, I got a deep knowing that there is always a background, a xxx to my life. There is something that will always be there, supporting me. That what I do doesn’t take place in a kind of emptiness, but is supported by the mountain. In a non-knowing way this makes it different.
There is always something watching.
You Are Not the Only One
The other lesson I have felt in all my cells is that you are not alone even though it seems like it when you are in the story. Not because there are others that love you and show empathy. By connecting with the energy of the mountain I could also connect with the vastness of time. There have been others before me with fears and doubts and there will be people with fears and doubts when I am gone. It was special to experience this connection with eternity and the lightness that this weaves through these times.
It also reminded me of an art project during the Oeral festival on the Dutch island of Terschelling. In this project onehad to walk a route through woods and dunes during which you visited various wooden sheds. In these sheds you had to leave something behind for the people that came after you. At the same time everything the people before you left behind, was displayed in the shed. This way you could feel that you were alone on your journey and at the same time connected with the ones before and after you.
This knowing give me peace and trust that what I experience is of all times. In a certain way it helps to make it less relevant and at the same time not smaller than it is. It opens up a larger perspective to live and creates space and lightness.
How Does This Translate to Your Life?
If you encounter difficult times in your life (or maybe good times), connect with the space in which this happens. Connect with the mountain, the earth, the love that is always there and watches. Without judgment, without wanting to change it, but connected and touched.
Then you can connect with the ones before you that have experienced this and the ones after you that will experience this. Place your experience in a larger perspective of time and explore how this affects you.
Finally you can also feel your own connection with the mountain. What meaning does it have to you?
Please leave your experiences and ideas in a comment. Thank you.