What do my father and mother have to do with marketing?

By 01/15/2016 September 28th, 2017 Management, Personal development

For me my fahter and mother have a lot to do with the succes of the marketing of my business. That migh sound strange, but for me this has to do with a clear relationship between me and my potential customers in order to be able to attract them.

Sometimes the marketing trics of Gurus do not work

Marketing, acquisition, finding new customers, these are activities that most interest me. Not only because I myself have learnt a lot about those topics in the past years, but also because I see that many people are struggling and then they surrender to any expert who tells them what to do.

For me it is not so simple. There are many tips and tricks and the world of marketing and especially online marketing changes daily. But there is a deeper layer that influences the relationship between you and your (potential) customers. That’s why I like to work with marketing constellations to make this deeper layer tangible and visible.

A marketing constellation really opened my eyes

Although I’ve facilitated quite a lot of constellations in recent years and was also part of many, one constellation is still vivid in my memory. At that time (2008) I was very busy trying to attract clients for my recently started coaching practice. I wanted to see why I was doing this so stressful.

In the constellation it soon became clear that it was not about me and my customer. The facilitator asked me what I wanted to have behind me as support. For some reason she felt that was missing. When a stand in for my father stood behind me, it became clear. I was really working hard to acquire customers and to perform well for the customer. The hidden truth was that I wanted to do well for my father. The facilitator only said “Look behind you into the eyes of your father.” This has brought a lot of piece to myself and my business.

Later I also noticed in constellations I facilitated for my clients that finding new clients can be complicated because the entrepreneur is expecting something from the customer. There is a need to be fulfilled. The entrepreneur is not there for the customer, but the customer must be there for him.

It is not going to work if you still need something from your customer

What I want to point out is that finding new customers and being there for your customers all depends on how well you are satisfying your own needs and on how completely you can be available for the (potential) customer. This applies not only to entrepreneurs in service professions, but it is more apparent there since your service consists of your presence and your service. Yet also entrepreneurs that provide products should be aware that they are not (unconsciously) trying to get their needs fulfilled by their customers.

This requires that you be aware of what is happening in the interaction with your customer. Are you fully there for him or do you still, somewhere deep inside, want him to be there for you? This also requires that you know what needs you still have and that you know where to get them fulfilled.

For me it works to connect with my father and mother

My father is deceased and yet I imagine occasionally that he is behind me or that I find support with. I then feel the power from him (and the ancestors that he connects me with) flowing through me. When next I envision my mother (who is still alive) behind me and her power and that of the ancestors she connects me with, I have no more needs left. For me this is a very good start to do marketing, write texts or coach someone. It’s also a very good starting position towards my wife and kids, but that is a different arena.

It still happens that I feel I need something from my customer. That my own needs are interfering in the interaction with (potential) customers. Because I am aware of them and I know where I can find support, these needs will no longer stand between me and my client.

Do an easy marketing constellation for your business

Would you like to become stronger in your business and want to be fully open and available for your customers? Find out which needs you still want to be fulfilled. Observe what happens when a customer buys your service or product, or when he does not. What emotions are triggered? What thoughts come up?

You can also do a little marketing constellation to investigate this. In that case put two pieces of paper on the floor. One with your name on it and one saying “potential customer”. You decide how you want to lay down the papers on the floor. Move them around until it is right for you.

It is more convenient if you have someone who can stand on the paper with “potential customer”. In that case you can stand on your own paper and the other one on the paper with “Potential Customer”. But you can also first stand on the first one and then on the other piece of paper.

Next you are asking yourself what you experience on your own piece of paper. How do you relate yourself to the prospective customer? Can you feel if you expect something from him, if there are needs and desires? Then you ask the other person (or yourself while you stand on the other piece of paper) how it is to stand on the piece of paper with “potential customer” on it. What does your potential customer experience? Does he feel that you are there and that you are available to him, or does he experiences that you expect something from him?

This way you can determine whether there is still something interfering in the relationship and what steps you can take to free up the interaction. Thus, customers will come to you much easier and acquisition of new customers will cost you less energy.

How does this work for you? Leave a comment

Please let me know how this exercise helped you and/or how you take care of your own needs.


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